A Part Of Him
by MaidofShadow
Summary: "It wasn't as if he knew her name or who she was in any way. That made everything worse. She was a mystery, sitting on the bench by the path reading A Brief History of Time by Steven Hawking." Sam meets a girl in his Stanford days and a whirlwind romance ensues that shapes Sam into who we know and love today. Oneshot, Sam/OC. Better than summary and title sound


**I actually have no idea where this oneshot came from; I just sat down and these are the words that came out. This is Sam in his Stanford days, before Jess. Enjoy!**

**Dedicated to PushingLeePace'sDaisies because she is one of my favourite people in the whole world and keeps me writing.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the books mentioned. I also don't own the song Moondance.**

Sam had known he was in trouble as soon as she'd looked up at him, piercing blue eyes gazing through long, dark lashes.

"Uh-," He had forgotten how to speak for a moment, having not fully realized who he had decided to voice his question to.

It wasn't as if he knew her name or who she was in any way. That made everything worse. She was a mystery, sitting on the bench by the path reading A Brief History of Time by Steven Hawking.

Her eyes were the brightest blue he had ever seen, almost violet in their shade. Her hair was wavy and a sort of caramel gold that just reached her chin in length, though she covered most of it with a grey beanie. He noted her lack of facial piercings though her ears were adorned in many different places with metal. He watched as she raised her eyebrows at him, though not unkindly, and her bright red lips twisted into a smile to reveal straight white teeth, waiting for him to pose his question. He could faintly hear jazz coming from the lose ear bud that sat in her lap and he noted the distinct smell of vanilla that floated in the air around her.

"Yes?" she said, breaking the silence and bringing him back to the present. Her voice had a soft European accent, though he couldn't really place it. It was something between a mild Irish one and the traditional British.

"I was wondering if you knew where the library is?" He asked, breaking from his trance and clearing his throat.

"It's just down there," she told him with a smile, pointing down the path to a large glass building. "It's two to the right from that one. You'll know it when you see it."

And just like that she was reading her book again and he was dismissed. He could do nothing but nod mutely and head towards the library.

It was a week later when he saw her again. She was on the same bench, reading once more, only this time it was Paradise Lost. She had somehow managed to twist her short hair into a messy up do, held in place by a beautiful comb. No lipstick today but she had applied her eyeliner heavily and wore an excess of the colours grey and pale blue.

She was a paradox, it seemed. He wasn't sure if he should be frightened of her or offering to carry her books. She still had the ever present headphone in and was bobbing her head slowly in the tune of whatever she was listening to.

He approached her once again, this time determined to get her name though somehow managing to trip over his words and ending up asking if she knew where city hall was.

"That's a bit far," she said with a chuckle and a raised eyebrow. She helped him nonetheless though and returned to reading just as quickly as she had last time. He had no choice but to head into the direction of somewhere he didn't really need to go.

The third time he noticed her, she wasn't sitting on the bench but rather lying in the grass in the park. She was on her back, face pointed towards the sky but her eyes closed. She might've sleeping or even dead. The pleasant smile that played on her lips gave her away though and he knew that she was completely aware of all that was going on around her. Next to her was another book, Pride and Prejudice, and she, of course, had her music with her.

Today she wore her hair loose about her and was free of makeup, though no less beautiful, he thought. She had paired a leather jacket with a sundress and converse and it was all he could do not to shake his head and laugh. It suited her though and he found himself admiring her once more.

He stood there for a moment, contemplating what to do. By the time he had decided to go over to her, she had sat up and was gathering her things in an old messenger bag.

Losing his nerve before he actually reached her, he ended up asking her if she knew the way to the city plaza. She eyed him curiously before pointing him in the right direction and standing to leave.

It was only on the fourth try that he actually managed to say something to her that didn't have to do with directions.

This time she was in a ripped band shirt, large old cardigan and a white lace skirt along with some old biker boots. Half her hair was pinned back away from her face, allowing the other half to fall in front of her eyes. She wore pink lipstick and seemingly nothing else, though you could never be sure with all the "nude" make up products they had nowadays.

She was on the subway and the only seat available was the one next to her. He took it gladly, pleased to have an excuse to be near her. She was reading To Kill a Mockingbird and if he listened carefully he could hear soft rock coming from her headphones.

"Are you following me?" she asked without looking at him. He nearly jumped when she addressed him, not expecting her to start a conversation. She waited patiently for an answer, turning to the next page in her book.

"No, I-" he fumbled for words, trying to find something to say that wouldn't make her think he was a creep.

"Just needed someone to act as a personal map again?" she finished for him and he worried at her tone for moment before she finally turned to him and he saw the mirth sparkling in her eyes. "What's your name?"

"Sam Winchester." He had to physically make an effort not to let his awe of her show in his expression or tone.

"Nice to meet you Sam Winchester," she said, sticking out her hand for him to shake.

The sat in silence for a few moments while she wrote something down in a little notebook in her hand. Sam eventually built up enough courage to speak again.

"I wasn't following you, you know." He said sincerely. He really hadn't been. Yes, he had taken the park path more than once in hopes of seeing her but he wasn't _following_ her.

"You go to the university?" she asked in way of response. He nodded. "What are you studying?"

"Law." He told her shortly, not knowing what else to say.

"Oh so you're one of _those_ people," she commented, a slight smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. It took a moment for him to register what she had said and before he could ask what she meant she was gone, with him looking up just in time to see a flash of blonde get off the train.

He sighed as he stared at the door that had closed before he had a chance to follow her and his shoulders visibly slumped. He still didn't even know her name.

"This yours, mate?" the chubby man who had taken her spot asked, pulling a piece of paper off the seat.

He took it from the man, supposing the girl had dropped it. It was only once he read it that a grin spread across his face that he couldn't get rid of.

It had a phone number.

* * *

She liked coffee, thrift stores and vinyl records. Her favourite thing in the world was music and books were a close second. She rarely watched TV but she did enjoy old films as well as a few new indie ones he had never heard of.

She was unlike anyone he'd ever met before with her bright eyes and odd group of interests. She was a vegetarian and had an incredible fondness and awareness for nature. He often found her lying on her back in the grass or with her toes dipped in the small stream in the park. She spent her time in small cafes with poetry readings and at old art galleries.

Soon, he found himself going to those places with her and before he knew it he couldn't imagine life without her and her without him.

He introduced her to new places and fantastic little bars and restaurants. He took her to the theatre when he could afford it and she showed him all the nooks and crannies of the city.

It was about 4 months after they had met that she told him that she loved him.

They had just returned from a cheap jazz club and they were both slightly dressed up and laughing. She took him to the top of her building and sat on the edge of the roof, her legs hanging over the edge and her dress billowing around her in the breeze. He sat next to her, preferring to look at her rather than the city lights, no matter how lovely they might've seemed that night.

They drank wine from plastic cups and danced without any music. She laughed until tears ran from her eyes and he smiled until his face hurt. She accidently lost one of her shoes over the side of the roof and they both decided to go barefoot for the rest of the night. Her skin glowed in the moonlight and his eyes twinkled in a reflection of the city. They watched the stars from their backs and she sang Moondance softly under her breath. They talked until morning light and then watched the sunrise together, leaning against each other.

It was then when she told him. Her voice had been quite but sure of itself when she spoke the words, looking up at him with eyes that were as bright as the first day he had met her.

He had kissed her then, softly and gently and full of contentment.

"I love you too," he told her as she rested her head on his shoulder and for that single moment, everything was perfect.

Perhaps the relationship had moved too fast. Maybe that's why it all fell apart so soon after that. It was almost frightening how fast they had grown to be attached to each other and as soon as it had happened it was over.

She began to see him less and less and he put more and more time into getting his degree. There was barely any time spent together and as the weeks went by they grew apart. She met a man named Jason and it was obvious to everyone that he liked her, though it wasn't clear if she returned the feelings.

That must've been what first planted the seed of jealousy in Sam's mind. She didn't give any indication of liking Jason but she clearly didn't dislike him either.

Things began to get rocky after that. Sam found himself getting annoyed about little things; mostly which involved Jason and they would often fight. After one of the said arguments, she had stormed out and stayed the night with a friend.

The next day they had apologized and for a little while things were how they were in the beginning and they would stay up late to talk and take long walks and spend rainy evenings cuddled up on the sofa together.

It only lasted about a month though and before they knew it they were back to their fights and outbursts. Sam thought she spent too much time with Jason and she thought he spent too much time working.

It was a few days later when he saw her. He had been coming home from work and there she was, seated in a restaurant, looking utterly different than when he first seen her. Her hair was completely pinned back in a fancy up do and she wore a tight black dress. He immediately checked her feet for the familiar boots or converse, or even ballet flats, but instead she wore sophisticated red heels that matched her lipstick. She had removed all her piercings and his eyes immediately checked for her ear bud, which she wore everywhere except when she was with him. It wasn't there. She looked like a business woman, not like the woman he loved.

Across the table from her was Jason, wearing an expensive suit and a smug smile. Just then he leaned across the table and whispered something in her ear and Sam bristled, deciding that he shouldn't go inside for fear he would kill the other man.

It was many hours before she returned home and when she did her eyes were bloodshot and her makeup smeared. She broke down then, apologizing and telling him that Jason had kissed her. She had pushed him away and left immediately but she clearly felt awful.

He had hugged her and forgiven her before the words had even left her mouth. That night they went to bed together but they did not touch and they did not whisper goodnights across the pillows.

The next day they broke up. Neither of them had wanted it but they both agreed it was the best course of action. Her things were gone from his apartment by the afternoon and he found the rooms incredibly bare without her.

The whole thing had lasted less than 8 months but it was the most intense thing Sam had ever experienced. By the time he had realized that though, it was too late.

It was only about a week after they had broken up. He heard it on the radio first and thought nothing of it. It wasn't until later when he saw the news that it really caught his attention.

"_Local girl mauled to death," _the headline that rolled across the screen said and there was a picture of her. He couldn't believe it at first. It couldn't be her. It was some sort of sick joke.

But it wasn't some sort of sick joke. It was real.

It had been a werewolf. Sam had tracked it down and killed it within 24 hours. He had never wanted anything dead so badly before and it frightened him how angry he became.

It was only once he had literally ripped the creature's heart out and his hands were covered with blood that he cried. He cried for what might've been hours or even days before he felt enough strength to stand up. He burned the body quickly and efficiently and wiped the last tears from his eyes.

He did not cry again after that night, not even at her funeral. He had spilt all the tears that he had.

He remembered her in everything he did. Sometimes it was simply there in fragment of a song or the whisper of the wind. He stopped going out, not wanting to see everywhere he had spent time with her. He changed apartments and tucked the photos of her away into a small box.

It was almost a year later that he met a lovely girl named Jess and they began spending time together. It wasn't long before they fell in love and soon she began to fade from memory, slowly being replaced by newer, happier times.

It would never be the same though; not really. No matter how many times Sam fell in love, no matter how many girls held his heart; it would never be the same.

No one would be able to complete him the way she had and no one would be able to fill the hole she had left. No one would be a part of him like she was and frankly, he didn't want them to be.

**Love it? Hate it? PLEASE REVIEW! I would really appreciate hearing what you think!**

**~Liliana**


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